Why It’s Okay Not to Know What You Want to Do
Everyone told me that the hardest part of applying to college was the essay.
But then I saw the drop-down menu on the opening pages of the common application. The words above it spelled out, “Intended Major.” Hidden in that box was an infinite list of choices, paths, and futures. While I could stomach rejection and the endless revisions of essays, what scared me most was a single click of the mouse. I had heard about how difficult it was to change majors in college. What if I become stuck doing something I hated for the rest of my life?
Colleges already demand that we keep up our grades, pursue meaningful activities, and do well on standardized tests. In high school we spend our lives on exam after exam, paper after problem-set after quiz, and yet colleges also expect us to know what we want to do with our lives. This state of uncertainty is always difficult: it eats away at you and you begin to second-guess your decisions, your worth, and perhaps even your future. And it’s for this reason that the more predictable, well-worn paths are easier to follow. These paths are entirely valid, but just remember—if you never develop the capacity to determine what is important to you, then you might end up pursuing things based on what others value.
During undergrad, I never gave myself the time or opportunity to explore and resolve my varied interests because I was so intent on optimizing for the best “return on investment” of an education. And in doing so I missed the real value of an education: figuring out what mattered to me. While it may seem tempting to keep your options open, there will be a time when you’ll have to take a stand and commit to a decision. So, if you’re uncertain now, the least you can do is start learning the skills to help you navigate uncertainty in the future.
Decisiveness
Can you trust yourself to make the right decision? Or at least have the confidence in yourself to handle the consequences?
Introspection
How do you learn from your past decisions (and perhaps mistakes) in shaping your future path?
Adaptability
Do you have the capacity to make the most of any situation?
Values
What matters to you? What are the boundaries you are willing to push, and what is non-negotiable?
What matters in the end is not picking the right path—whether it is well traveled and predictable, or more adventurous and exciting. What matters is the fact that you are intentional in your choice and make the best of what you have.
So for now, whether you’re applying to college or still working your way through high school. Be kind to yourself, give yourself the options to explore, and make sure you understand how you are learning from every experience.
– Mentor Kevin
